Category Archives: men

The one word females use that all males should fear (and how to handle it).

beer,lads,women,men,relationships,sex,love,romanceAs I sit here watching the news on TV, the female news anchors are talking about the subject of equal pay and equality in the work place.

They are obviously pissed, as they should be of course.  After all, the fact that in 2017 females don’t earn the same as a male colleague is somewhat shameful.

Yet interestingly, they are not saying as much. Instead, they are skirting around what they actually think and are generalising. Professional yes, but you can tell that inside they are seething at the injustice of it.

By a strange coincidence, I am also editing the sequel to my novel Billy’s Log and if you’ve read the original (and if not, why the f**k not?) then you will know that it examines many of the differences between the two sexes, albeit in a slightly tongue-in-cheek manner. Ironically, one of the subjects I tackle in both books is the issue of language.

As any male will know, one of the great complaints women have about us is that we don’t understand them and that’s true. What they don’t get of course, is that it’s because they talk a different language. So with that in mind, I thought this might be a good time to briefly tackle one particular element of the ongoing battle of the sexes. It’s one that is dear to my heart, mostly because I’ve fallen foul of it on more occasions than I care to remember, and is a particular word. One which actually has three genuine definitions within the English language but which, when it comes to female-speak, has multiple meanings, all of which spell trouble for the average bloke. It is, in effect, the relationship H-bomb.

That word is ‘fine’.

To us men, fine means either OK, thin or sunny. To females, it means only one thing: that she isn’t happy. If she says ‘it’s fine’ or ‘that’s fine’ and delivers the words through pursed lips, gritted teeth or in a tone that’s considerably lower or slower than normal, she isn’t happy at all. Incredibly, the average female is even able to convey this angst in email, messenger or tweet form when it will generally be delivered in a short and very sharp manner.

However it’s delivered, its arrival should start to ring alarm bells in the average bloke because irrespective of the reasons behind it -and it might not be your fault or even have anything to do with you- what she is actually doing is testing you as her partner. It could be your understanding of her, her emotions and her needs or even the importance you place on her but it is vital, for your own wellbeing, that you not only understand what the problem is but know how to respond. And you have literally seconds to act. Any longer and will pay. Be it in the form of a ‘you don’t understand me’ attack, or a simple sulk. Get it right however, and you’re quids in.

There is however, a relatively simple way for the male to totally neutralise the threat of fine. Depending on where you are in a relationship, it takes either forward planning or simple nerve but it is possible and all it takes is for you to sit your partner down and deliver this one simple sentence:

‘If you say you’re fine, from now on I’m going to assume that you are actually fine.’

This is of course, a risky tactic as you are in effect stripping them of weaponry and it may even be met with the response of ‘fine’ and all that goes with it (see above). But if you stick to your guns when the tests come -and they will come- and simply respond with a smile and ‘OK’ or ‘that’s good’ then you will inevitably force her to back down and say what she actually means.

Which has to be better for everyone right?

@dougiebrimson

sex, lads romance, love, vibrator, george clooney, fart

football, soccer, comedy, cost of football, manchester united, liverpool, derby, watfordJust in case you didn’t already know, all of my books and DVD’s are available from both Amazon and iTunes.

Further information at dougiebrimson.com

 

beer,lads,women,men,relationships,sex,love,romance,author,screenwriting,ebooks,self publishing, indie film,football

Women rule the world? Please god no.

sex, lads romance, love, vibrator, george clooney, fartI am, as many people will be aware, a male of a certain age. To be specific, I’ve just turned 58 and am proud to say that I have lived something of a life.

This has equipped me with all kinds of beliefs and opinions the bulk of which have been forged by two things that have sadly become under-rated commodities these days; experience and common sense. Indeed, I have often thought that politics should be divided not on the concept of left or right but on the basis of smart and stupid.

As a consequence, I have long held the opinion that the country, if not the planet, should be run by women. OK, they have their failings (handbags, cushions and the Kardashians being amongst the most obvious) but generally speaking, they are far more sensible and practical than we males. My dad for example, is a reasonably intelligent bloke but if bringing up 6 kids had been left to him we’d have been feral within weeks.

However, and it pains me to say this, that belief has been tossed aside in recent weeks. Not because of the laughable anti-Trump protests or even the infestation of Twitter by a growing legion of rabid leftie tarts, but because I have been writing the sequel to my novel Billy’s Log.

If you’ve read the original, you’ll know that it was (is) an examination of romance from a male perspective and in it I explored the idea that the whole thing had become skewed to the point where far too many men had little or no idea about what made the average female tick let alone what they actually wanted. 

Thankfully, I seemed to hit the mark with it and for ten years, people have been asking me to do a sequel if only to see how the hero fared. Much as I loved the idea, I was reluctant to revisit the subject matter because I was concerned that not only would it end up as little more than a celebration of loserdom but also that it would lack any real substance. I need not have worried because if anything, the world of the desperate male singleton has become even more confused over the last decade.  Primarily because women seem to have become even more crazed than they were ten years ago.

Indeed, one of the problems I’ve had with this book is not what to put in, but what to leave out although I’ve been helped by the fact that there are issues that I’ve been reluctant to explore too deeply, even from a comedic aspect. The world of internet porn being just one example!

I have a few tweaks to do yet (and a decent title to find) then it’ll head into the publishing process but suffice to say, Billy’s Log 2 is on the way. I hope it’ll be worth the wait. 

In other news:

Three Greens is on it’s way to pre-production and the team is hoping to be able to make a huge announcement about our principal cast within the week.

In addition, I’ve been working on an entirely new project which I hope to be able to announce after the Berlin Film Festival which starts tomorrow.

Positive vibes please people! The more the better!

@dougiebrimson

sex, lads romance, love, vibrator, george clooney, fart

football, soccer, comedy, cost of football, manchester united, liverpool, derby, watfordJust in case you didn’t already know, all of my books and DVD’s are available from both Amazon and iTunes.

Further information at dougiebrimson.com

screenwriting, author, ebooks, kindle, green street, writing

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